Beat the Cartoonist: Time to vote

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."
"I suppose we'll need 3D glasses as well?"
"Oh good! This will be the instructions."
"I told you not to print the recipe for alphabet soup!"

These are the captions for the latest Beat the Cartoonist on the Reader's Digest site. One of them is mine but the idea is pick the one you think is the funniest.

Click here to vote (ends Friday)

See all previous posts on Beat the Cartoonist

Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival 2012 flies by

"Take over, Number Two, I'm updating my Facebook status."

The Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival was held last weekend and was as great a success as ever, despite the presence of rain this year (we've been lucky in the past).

Above is a cartoon of mine from the Flights of Fancy exhibition, which can be seen at the Visual Arts Network gallery in the town's Market Hall until the end of the month (the exhibition then goes on to other venues, details here). I've got three others in the show, all original drawings (this is a signed print of a cartoon drawn for a PR company a few years ago, on the theme of "social not-working" in the workplace).

"Insert funny caption here ..."

This cartoon was used on the Reader's Digest stall at the festival, as one of the drawings for the Beat the Cartoonist caption contest on the Friday. They'd packed up for the day before I made it to the stall, so I've no idea what the public came up with, and the cartoon has not yet been published, so I'm not going to tell you the original caption.

I was not an official participating cartoonist this year, so I was able to get around and see more than usual, without having to worry about getting a Big Board painted. So this year I managed to get to the Reader's Digest talk by Steve Way, the cartoon editor, and Martin Colyer, the design director.

Cartoonists work in isolation and part of the fun of Shrewsbury, for us, is meeting the public and getting feedback for our work, which is hard to find. You don't usually get to hear anyone actually laugh at your gags. The Digest talk gave me that as they showed all the cartoons from the past year and I had 11 gags in those 12 issues. Martin put a few questions to me and, as readers of this blog will know, I'm always happy to yak on about cartoons ...

I'll spare you the pics of drunken, singing cartoonists this year, but here's one of Matt Buck and I (thanks to Nicolette Petersen) at the Humurals, where cartoonists do on-the-spot drawings to create an instant exhibition. Here's one I came up with, on the festival theme of Flying.

Lots of us involved in the festival, and others, were tweeting about #shrews12 throughout the weekend and posting pictures. You can see a round-up of lots of that here, and we've put lots more words and pictures at the Procartoonists.org blog. I'm already looking forward to next year's festival which, amazingly, will be the tenth.

Beat the Cartoonist: Vote now

"Accurs'd stag nights!"
"This is the last time I volunteer to be a designated driver!"
"Hey, you at the front, no smoking in first class!"
"I don't know what you're all laughing about. This is the tumbrel."

These are the captions for Beat the Cartoonist on the Reader's Digest site. Click here to vote for your favourite. As usual, there are three from readers plus mine. Do your worst! Or your best, if you like.

See all my Beat the Cartoonist gags here.

Beat ye Cartoonist

One of my cartoons is the Beat the Cartoonist image in the January Reader's Digest, allowing readers to write their own captions then vote on the best.

Click here to take part.

And you can see my previous Beat the Cartoonist entries here. So far I have won three and lost one ...

A real-life cartoon and a sound thrashing

It's a sunny Sunday. Ideal car-washing weather. Can't be bothered though, so here's a cartoon about car washing instead.

Occasionally a cartoon idea comes along that doesn't take much writing because it is plucked from real-life experience. This one came while washing our car outside the house one day in the summer.

Within about five minutes I had heard the first comment and the second one followed shortly afterwards, from two different people. I added the third one as these kind of jokes work best in threes -- and because I was surprised I didn't hear that one too.

The cartoon can be seen in the October issue of Reader's Digest, as can the outcome of the most recent Beat the Cartoonist caption contest in which I took part ...

"Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?"

Well, it had to happen, after crowing about scoring a hat-trick in the contest I was well and truly beaten. Soundly thrashed, in fact, as my original caption, above, came fourth!

The winner was by one S.N. Browry: "He agreed we should provide accommodation for my mother." And I have to admit that that's pretty good. I still prefer my original, of course, the new one doesn't really explain the loved-up look on the guy's face, but I can see that it seems like a bit of an anti-climax as a reveal.

Ah well, it's still 3-1 to me. I would insert some kind of footballing metaphor here, but I don't really know anything about football.

Click here to buy Royston's cartoon book

Beat the Cartoonist: Vote now

"Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?"
"He agreed we should provide accommodation for my mother."
"There must be better ways to shed weight."
"I always use the home-delivery service these days."

These are the captions for Beat the Cartoonist on the Reader's Digest site. You can vote for your favourite here. There are three from readers plus mine. I'm not going to reveal which is mine, of course. Bearing in mind recent news events, there's probably a looting joke here somewhere.

Can you beat the cartoonist?

What on earth is going on here? It's one of my drawings being used in the "Beat the Cartoonist" caption contest in the new Reader's Digest, that's what.

Click here if you can you think of a caption. The three best suggestions will be posted on the magazine's website by August 11, alongside my original caption (anonymously, of course). Visitors to the site then vote for their favourite. The winner gets £100 and the original drawing.

If the cartoonist wins, he gets a big head. So far I've played three, won three, but can this winning streak possibly continue? Watch this space. Well, not actually this space but an updated blog post later. Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I've been on my holidays. So now I feel suitably refreshed (by which I mean, it rained all week).

Holiday cartoon: Seasons in the sun

"You really shouldn't eat foods that are out of season."

As the summer holidays approach, here's a nice, sunshiny beach cartoon from the July issue of Reader's Digest.

I was also commissioned to do two cartoons for the Money pages this month. It's nice to see them using gag cartoons for this, rather than "straight" illustrations, for a change. More magazines should do that. After all, cartoons are better value for readers as you get a chuckle too (hopefully). And I think we all need more of those at the moment.

This cartoon was used as one of the Beat the Cartoonist gags at this year's Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival. Unlike the magazine version of this game they simply picked a winner, it didn't compete with the cartoonist's original caption. The winner was Janet Bell with "If we find the sixpence we can hire a sunshade too". You may well think that's an improvement. I couldn't possibly comment.

Here's a blog post from last year on previous appearances in the magazine version of Beat the Cartoonist.

Beat the Cartoonist at Shrewsbury

Reader's Digest had a presence at the Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival for the first time this year, with a stall and a talk on cartooning. You can read an article about it by Alex Hughes over at the Bloghorn.

They ran a version of their Beat the Cartoonist competition, and a cartoon of mine, above, was one of those used. The contest wasn't quite the same as the magazine version as the Digest team just picked their favourite entry for each cartoon. The original caption was not revealed, probably because the gags have yet to appear in the mag.

So I'm not going to reveal it here either, but feel free to make suggestions in the comments below! You can read the Shrewsbury winner in the Bloghorn article.

Click here to buy Royston's cartoon book

Christmas cartoon caption contest craziness

Can I really post two Santa Claus cartoons in a row? Well, it is [almost] Christmas. (Hang on, there's a pattern developing here ...)

Readers of the Daily Mail have been let loose on this cartoon, as it appears on their financial website This is Money, as the Austerity Christmas caption competition.

Click the link if you want to take part, apparently there's a suitably austere prize on offer.

Royston's portfolio website

Reader's Digest caption contest hat-trick

"You hold no authority that will allow you passage and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at least tell me your mother's maiden name?"

The results of Reader's Digest's Beat the Cartoonist contest are in ...

Woo-hoo! That's a hat-trick for me, having won twice before. I did a lap of honour in WHSmiths when I saw that. The cartoonists' team is still behind though, with a fair way to go, as it's 10-5 to the readers.

For those not familiar with the contest, it goes like this: the mag prints the cartoon with no caption and readers submit their ideas. Then the best three are printed alongside (anonymously) the cartoonist's original and it's put to the vote.

You can see my other Beat the Cartoonist cartoons here and here.

Royston's portfolio website

Reader's Digest caption contest: Update

The caption options for Beat the Cartoonist are now on the Reader's Digest website: three submitted by readers, plus my original.

I won't reveal which is mine, of course, but you can probably guess that it's not the second one which has a pop at my drawing [sulks ...]

Here are the four choices.

"You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password. Can you at least tell me your mother's maiden name?"

"Stay back! The cartoonist's bridge isn't attached to the cliff!"

"I knew the adoption agency would come up trumps one day!"

"Go back. Health and Safety say no."

UPDATE (4/5/10): Voting now closed. The winner will be announced in the June issue.

Financial cartoon: More caption fun

One of my clients, the financial website This is Money, asked me to provide a cartoon from my files, with wording removed, for an online caption competition. Previously they had used a stock photo.

This is different in format to the Reader's Digest caption contest (which I am in this month) as readers simply add their captions to the comments underneath the cartoon, then the site picks the best one. The prize is a copy of Avatar and a Sony Blu-ray DVD player.

It's interesting to see the captions come in (they're just over 300 at the time of writing) though it's fair to say they're a mixed bag. Also, This is Money is a Daily Mail website so many are from, er, a certain political perspective.

Click here to see the competition

Reader's Digest caption contest: Wizard fun

This cartoon is the Beat the Cartoonist drawing in the April issue of Reader's Digest.

So far I've played two, won two, but can I make it third time lucky, or will a reader triumph this time? (Note: at the time of writing the competition is in the magazine, but not yet on the website.)

The theme for April's Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival is "Magic, Myth and Mystery" and this cartoon would have fitted in nicely, but I came up with it after the deadline for exhibition entries had passed.

Reader's Digest caption contest: Result

The result is in! This is from the March issue of Reader's Digest:

JANUARY'S WINNER: In a titanic battle between RD readers and cartoonist, the professional scribbler Royston Robertson won out – by just two votes. His succinct effort "Nice touch." beat off an irony-heavy challenge from Helen Martin of Gravesend, Kent: "You should have read my file. I have hayfever." Against almost a thousand entries every month, the cartoonists are manfully holding their own now, winning one in every three caption contests. SCOREBOARD: Readers 8 Cartoonists 4

So, I've now played two (this one and this one) and won two. 'Ave it! [Puts shirt over head and does a lap of the room ...]

As you will probably have heard, the UK edition of Reader's Digest is in administration, and they are looking for a buyer. The March issue is out now as usual though, so why not buy it to show your support? There's another cartoon by me in it, and some great gags from Huw Aaron, Rob Murray, Alexander Matthews, Steve Way, Peter "Pak" King, and Simon Meyrick-Jones.

And you can have a go at the next Beat the Cartoonist, which is drawn by my cartooning pal Wilbur Dawbarn.

Royston's portfolio website

Reader's Digest caption contest: update

UPDATE UPDATED (1/2/10): Voting has now closed. The winner will be announced in the March issue.

The caption options for Beat the Cartoonist are now on the Reader's Digest website. As usual, they are my original caption (anonymously, of course) along with three captions submitted by readers.

The choices are:

"Nice touch."

"Hanged for putting a plastic bottle in the dustbin. See what happens when you vote in the Green Party?"

The Britain in Bloom entry lacked sensitivity.

"You should have read my file. I have hayfever!"

The last time I was in the competition, my caption was the winner, although overall the readers are very much in the lead!

In the Reader's Digest caption competition again

One of my drawings is being used to "Beat the Cartoonist" at Reader's Digest again. Please be gentle with me ...

Can you think of a caption? The closing date is January 10, which, coincidentally, is my birthday!

Royston's portfolio website

Reader's Digest caption contest: Result

"He may be a super-villain to you, but do you have any idea how many jobs he's created for the local area?"

You many remember I mentioned that this cartoon of mine was the Reader's Digest "Beat the Cartoonist" drawing in the August issue.

The idea was that readers submitted their captions, and the three best ones were posted on the website alongside my original wording, with no clue as to which was the original, of course. Visitors to the site were then asked to choose their favourite.

Well the good news, revealed in the October issue, is that they made the correct decision ... in other words they voted for my caption! It's the first time for five months that the cartoonist has won. My fellow scribblers, the fightback begins here ...
Royston's portfolio website

Digest caption competition: update

The deadline for suggestions for Reader's Digest's "Beat the Cartoonist" competition has passed, and you can now vote on your favourite caption. Or at least, that's what it says on the site, I couldn't see the four alternatives there. So watch this space, or, better still, watch this space: The "Beat the Cartoonist" web page

UPDATE UPDATED!: OK, the four options are there now.

UPDATED UPDATE UPDATED!: They're not there anymore, which I suppose means voting has closed. I belive that means the winner will be announced in the October issue, which comes out in about a month. Oh, the suspense! This is like The X-Factor. Of course, if the public don't vote my caption the funniest, I'll just sulk and point out that mine is the correct one as it's my blummin' cartoon, alright?

Royston's portfolio website

Reader's Digest cartoon caption competition

This cartoon is the Reader's Digest "Beat the Cartoonist" drawing for August. The idea is that readers submit their captions, and the three best ones are posted on the website alongside my original wording. There's no clue as to which is the original, of course.

Visitors to the site then choose their favourite and if a reader's caption gets the most votes, that reader wins a cash prize and the original drawing.

I'll try not to sink into a deep depression if readers pick someone else's caption. As compensation for the hurt caused to us sensitive artists, we get paid extra for the original artwork anyway.

They certainly picked one with a lot of drawing in it. This took me ages. And I wasn't very happy with it, so I put in on the lightbox and drew it again. Which means that the artwork that someone may win is remarkably Tipp-Ex free ... a desirable item indeed!

Click here to go to the "Beat the Cartoonist" web page

Royston's portfolio website