21.10.11

Art cartoon: Sorry, Vincent

Regular readers will know I like to do art-based cartoons, so here's my take on a famous Van Gogh. Click the image to enlarge.

This one is in, er, slightly poor taste, so lots of mags passed on it. But it has found its natural home in the November issue of the adult comic Poot, which is not averse to a bit of gross-out humour. They have a softer side though, and it was Poot that added this rather fetching frame.

Apologies, as ever, to the artist ... and indeed to art lovers everywhere! Pedants note: Yes, I know he didn't cut off his ear in this room. It's just a joke.

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19.10.11

Exhibition cartoon: Private Eye at the V&A

"Must dash ... I want to spend some time on my social-networking websites."

I went along to the opening of Private Eye: The First 50 Years at the V&A on Monday. As is often the case with these things, I spent so much time chatting to people (there were more cartoonists there than I've ever seen in one place before) that I didn't get to see much of the show. I'll have a proper look next time I'm in London.

I did spot the above cartoon though. It's from 2007, before Twitter even took off. The guy here is probably still using MySpace. It can be seen in a glass case, rather than on the wall! That's because it's part of a mock-up of a messy Private Eye production table, which features cartoons, pages, cuttings and associated paraphernalia.

For more on the exhibition generally, head over to the PCO's Bloghorn, where I've put together a longer piece about the opening.
"I don't believe it, man -- my mum has taped EastEnders over my martyrdom video."

Meanwhile, the Chris Beetles Gallery in St James's, London, has an online selling exhibition of Private Eye artwork to coincide with the V&A event. I've got three for sale, including the above.

Royston's portfolio website

13.10.11

Restaurant cartoon: Crowdsourcing ideas

"Don't fill up with bread."

I'm always reluctant to use hip, techie words -- largely because you never know if they're still going to be around next week -- but this cartoon, which is in the current Private Eye, was the result of an experiment in "crowdsourcing".

OK, crowd is probably putting it a bit strongly, but a handful of people responded when I put the following message on Twitter a couple of weeks ago.
"Gag cartoon writing session: throw some random themes/ideas at me!"

I've done this before, and sometimes people don't quite get it, and give me over-specific scenarios (with hindsight, I should have stuck with just themes, not ideas) and sometimes they do. The US cartoonist Mark Anderson did and simply said "French bread", so off I went to brainstorm on that. I came up with this fairly quickly. And it sold to the first mag. So thanks, Twitter, and thanks, Mark!

Thinking up themes for cartoons can be difficult. I've tried picking out words in dictionaries, using online "random idea generators" etc, but there's no substitute for getting topics from other people because then you have someone to show the result. I often ask those around me, mostly my long-suffering wife.

But after this success, you can expect to hear from me again, Tweeps. Damn, there's one of those words again ...

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6.10.11

Weather cartoon: Forever autumn

Here's a cartoon I drew for a newspaper article about the unseasonably hot autumn weather we had recently. Normally these cartoons are black and white but sometimes it's nice to add  some colour, and those autumnal shades are rather nice, I think.

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1.10.11

TV cartoon: Careful what you wish for

Fans of Doctor Who will know that the current series has been leading up to death of the Doctor tonight. Sounds unlikely that they would kill off a much-loved franchise, er, character, but unlikely things do happen: it's October 1 and it's hot and sunny.

Click play


For some though, you should be careful what you wish for ...

"Do you ever get a hollow feeling when you've looked forward to something for ages and then it finally happens?"

You know you want to see more Doctor Who/Dalek cartoons ...

25.9.11

A real-life cartoon and a sound thrashing

It's a sunny Sunday. Ideal car-washing weather. Can't be bothered though, so here's a cartoon about car washing instead.

Occasionally a cartoon idea comes along that doesn't take much writing because it is plucked from real-life experience. This one came while washing our car outside the house one day in the summer.

Within about five minutes I had heard the first comment and the second one followed shortly afterwards, from two different people. I added the third one as these kind of jokes work best in threes -- and because I was surprised I didn't hear that one too.

The cartoon can be seen in the October issue of Reader's Digest, as can the outcome of the most recent Beat the Cartoonist caption contest in which I took part ...

"Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?"

Well, it had to happen, after crowing about scoring a hat-trick in the contest I was well and truly beaten. Soundly thrashed, in fact, as my original caption, above, came fourth!

The winner was by one S.N. Browry: "He agreed we should provide accommodation for my mother." And I have to admit that that's pretty good. I still prefer my original, of course, the new one doesn't really explain the loved-up look on the guy's face, but I can see that it seems like a bit of an anti-climax as a reveal.

Ah well, it's still 3-1 to me. I would insert some kind of footballing metaphor here, but I don't really know anything about football.

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22.9.11

Not Yet Sold: Cats cartoon

"You really must have nine lives."

I'm not sure if this one works, or if it is that original, but I was really pleased with my design for the "crash test cat dummy"! All comments welcome below, as usual.

More in this series of rejected cartoons: Not Yet Sold.

14.9.11

News cartoon: Ten years on

"It's 9/11, 24/7"

Some might accuse me of being disrespectful with this cartoon, which is in this week's Private Eye, but it is about excessive media coverage rather than 9/11 itself.

Of course the recent 10th anniversary should have been marked to a significant degree, but I always get an uneasy feeling at the way those images of death and destruction are played and replayed like an action film. This cartoon maybe puts the point more elegantly: Doonesbury.

Talking of Private Eye, you may have heard that it's about to turn 50. Here's a piece I put together for The Bloghorn, online diary of the Professional Cartoonists' Organisation.

8.9.11

Military cartoon: Portfolio site updated


My "static" portfolio site has been a little too static for longer than I care to remember, but last week I finally got around to updating it. I've added lots of more recent cartoons, ditched some of the older ones, and have put up a few that haven't been online before, like this one. Check out the site here: www.roystonrobertson.co.uk

5.9.11

Mucky in Margate and rude in Ryde

Here's an article I wrote for the September issue of The Jester, newsletter of the Cartoonists' Club, about two recent cartoon-based excursions:

Reader, I have been corrupted over recent weeks – not once but twice! My mind has been disturbed by filth of such depravity that it is little wonder Her Majesty's guardians of morality and taste pursued it through the courts.

I refer to the saucy seaside postcard. And in reality, the fact that such honest vulgarity was prosecuted as obscene is as much of a joke as any on these colourful cards.

The Pie Factory Gallery in Margate hosted an exhibition called I Wish I Could See My Little Willy which featured cards deemed too rude to view by committees of taste and decency on local councils across the country in the 1950s.

Above: a lifesize cut-out at the Pie Factory Gallery based on Bob Wilkin's postcard "I wish I could see my little Willy"

The excellent exhibition was run in conjunction with the British Cartoon Archive and many of the cards, by the acknowledged master of the genre Donald McGill, and by other artists, were displayed along with their obscene-publications index cards.

An interesting story emerges, showing how ideas of obscenity are subjective. Often what was seen as mucky in Margate was not seen as rude in Ramsgate, just a few miles down the road. And vice versa.

On the day I visited, there was an excellent free talk and slideshow by Nick Hiley, curator of the British Cartoon Archive, which is based at the University of Kent in nearby Canterbury. The talk was about the various prosecutions around the country and, ultimately, the show trial of McGill in Lincoln. It was held in the old magistrates’ court, now the Margate Museum, and Dr Hiley spoke from a witness box on caster wheels.

The prosecution of McGill was the subject of Getting the Joke, a 2006 Radio 4 play that we listened to after the talk, following an introduction by its writer, Neil Brand. The play featured enactments of some of the most well-known cards and Brand revealed that when the young actors, who were unfamiliar with them, looked for guidance he simply said: “Think Carry On films ...”

The Margate show is, alas, over, but for a permanent museum dedicated to Donald McGill head over to the Isle of Wight. I was there on holiday the week before my Margate excursion so I popped over to Ryde to see the Donald McGill Postcard Museum, which opened last year.

“Museum” may sound a little ambitious as it’s one room, albeit very grand one, behind a cafĂ©, but boy do they make good use of the space! There’s lots too see – not least the impressive sight of postcards all over the walls and ceilings like a huge mosaic. Plus there’s original art, letters, promo material and more. So give yourself a couple of hours if you visit.

The museum shows that McGill's work was not always saucy and about the seaside. His career ran from 1904-1963 and spanned two world wars, so it's quite a reflection of changing times and, of course, there are lots of propaganda cards. It’s fascinating to see that a lot of his Hitler cards were “recycled” jokes about the Kaiser! Also on show are some early drawings from the unpublished Grown Ups’ Nursery Book.

Above: the sign announcing the Ryde museum, featuring Donald McGill's notorious "Stick of rock, cock?" McGill claimed no vulgar interpretation was intended and the man is simply "taking the weight on his upper legs". Ahem

It’s also very playful exhibition, there’s a police van, with the registration F1 LTH, carrying boxes of confiscated stock, a life-size postcard that you can be part of, and even five joke exhibits – fakes that you are invited to spot. I won’t ruin the fun and reveal them.

Above: Donald McGill on a wall showing his original artwork alongside the printed postcards, at the Ryde museum

When you've finished looking round, to prove that this is truly the art of the people you can even buy original-issue McGill postcards for no more than a few quid each.

The Donald McGill Postcard Museum is at 15 Union Street, Ryde, behind the Orrery CafĂ©. It is open seven days a week, March to the end of October, from 10am. Last admission 4.15pm. Admission £3.50 or £3 for “Ancient Britons” and £1.50 for kids.

Technology cartoon: Spam, spam, spam ...

"You'd get a lot more work done if you didn't reply to every spam email with, 'Thank you for your kind offer ...'"

Today I unwittingly sent a spam message to hundreds of followers on Twitter. So I'm posting this cartoon here as an apology to them and a thank-you for a) realising the message clearly wasn't from me b) offering advice and tips and c) not un-following!

It was my own fault for clicking a spurious link. This is the first time this has happened to me on any social-networking or email account, so maybe I'd got blasé. It's one of those things you don't think will happen to you until it does.

Anyway, no-one died. In other news, the kids are back at school today after the holidays and a quiet hush has descended on the house. Aaaahh ...

Follow me on Twitter!

31.8.11

Finance cartoon: End of the holidays

"I have nothing to declare but the fact that I am completely skint."

As the summer holidays come to an end, here's a cartoon that seems relevant. This was drawn for the money pages of July's Reader's Digest, to illustrate an article about holiday spending and the poor value of the pound.

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19.8.11

Film cartoon: All rise

I haven't yet seen Rotpota, as the cool kids call it, but I intend to. I'm a fan of the original and I hope that the new one will finally eradicate the appalling Tim Burton "re-imagining" from my memory. This cartoon can be seen in this week's edition of The Spectator.

Here's another cartoon on an "Ascent of Man" riff.

18.8.11

Boardroom cartoon: Game on

"Don't worry if you don't know the rules – we're making it up as we go along."

In the light of the phone-hacking scandal at the News of the World, a business client wanted a cartoon about how organisations can deal with the issue of accountability, to establish who is ultimately responsible when things go wrong instead of playing the "blame game".

This series of cartoons always features the same characters, always in a boardroom scenario. It's fun thinking up new variations. See more here.

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15.8.11

Not Yet Sold: Astrology cartoon

"Hey, what sign are you?"

Quite often when I dig out cartoons for this occasional feature on much-rejected gags I think, "Hmm, if I change this guy a bit, and maybe reword that" ... and the cartoon ends up being reworked, rather than shown here.

This is one I've pretty much given up on though. It still makes me chuckle, but sometimes you have to admit defeat. What do you think? All comments welcome below, as usual.

Click here for more in this series: Not Yet Sold.

11.8.11

Beat the Cartoonist: Vote now


"Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?"
"He agreed we should provide accommodation for my mother."
"There must be better ways to shed weight."
"I always use the home-delivery service these days."


These are the captions for Beat the Cartoonist on the Reader's Digest site. You can vote for your favourite here. There are three from readers plus mine. I'm not going to reveal which is mine, of course. Bearing in mind recent news events, there's probably a looting joke here somewhere.

5.8.11

Law cartoon: Monster fun

Drawing cartoons for trade and business magazines inevitably means you do a lot of office-based cartoons. That's fine -- particularly as office cartoons often allow for re-use sales later on -- but occasionally it's nice to let rip with something a bit more extravagant, and I think this one is certainly that.

It was drawn for a law magazine to illustrate an article about claiming for vehicles rather than accepting a courtesy car from an insurer. Apparently some people get a bit carried away in their choice of vehicle, so I thought a monster truck would fit the bill.

I'm not usually a fan of drawing vehicles, but Google image search was my friend here. I can't be certain, but I think I may even have emitted a few "vroom-vroom" noises while drawing this.

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30.7.11

Science cartoon: DisconCERNted*

"Run! I've discovered the Higgs bison."

I make no apologies for the groan-worthy pun in this cartoon. Why should I? It's not my fault if cartoon editors pick puns over all the other eruditely witty and bitingly satirical cartoons that I submit ...

Actually the passage of this cartoon into the August (and indeed august**) Prospect magazine may have been smoothed by the fact that it features a piece about the Large Hadron Collider at Cern where they're trying to find this Higgs boson wotsit. I didn't know that when I sent the cartoon in, it was a happy coincidence.

I was quite pleased with the drawing, which I think is fun. Hopefully it makes up for the pun -- for which, two paragraphs later, I am still wholly unrepentant.

*That's a bonus groaner that features alongside the cartoon on the website.
**Sorry, I've just read Stephen Fry's autobiography.

Warning: May contain puns

29.7.11

Ghosts cartoon: Fade to grey

"If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ..."

This cartoon is from Isle, a magazine for the Thanet area, where I live. It accompanied a feature about a team of "ghostbusters" who seek out supernatural goings on in supposedly haunted old pubs.

As an experiment, I drew the characters on a separate layer to the background and used a filter in Photoshop to give them a ghostly look. Can't remember what the filter was. Ghostify, probably. I was pleased with the result, but sadly it didn't come out quite as well in print! You can see the ghosts but they are a bit more faded than they appear here. Ah well, at least it means you have to search for them, a bit like "real" ghosts.

The caption here is a case of having your cake and eating it i.e. using a corny old joke while commenting on it being a corny old joke.

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26.7.11

Can you beat the cartoonist?

What on earth is going on here? It's one of my drawings being used in the "Beat the Cartoonist" caption contest in the new Reader's Digest, that's what.

Click here if you can you think of a caption. The three best suggestions will be posted on the magazine's website by August 11, alongside my original caption (anonymously, of course). Visitors to the site then vote for their favourite. The winner gets £100 and the original drawing.

If the cartoonist wins, he gets a big head. So far I've played three, won three, but can this winning streak possibly continue? Watch this space. Well, not actually this space but an updated blog post later. Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I've been on my holidays. So now I feel suitably refreshed (by which I mean, it rained all week).