Strike cartoon: The home front

The kids are off school today because of the public sector strike, which makes this cartoon, which I drew today for a local paper, somewhat autobiographical.

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My cartoon collection ... still out now!

I've just ordered a new batch of cartoon books, so it's probably a good time to remind you that one would make an ideal Christmas present ...

Penguin vs Polar Bear and Other Ridiculous Cartoons is 104 pages long and has lots of funny cartoons in it, taken from Private Eye, Reader’s Digest, The Spectator, Prospect, The Oldie, New Statesman and others.

Visit my shop to buy a signed copy for £5.99 plus £2 p+p. It's also available at the Cartoon Museum shop in London, and at their online store. Plus you can buy it at Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com and Lulu.com. There's even a bargain-price digital download version available.

Not Yet Sold: Just say no, kids

Look, it made me laugh, OK?

It appears that I was probably alone though, hence it is currently dwelling in the file marked Rejected, er, I mean Not Yet Sold. You can see more here.

Let's pause for a cup of tea

Cuppa tea? Oil on tea towel, by Royston Robertson, circa 2008

Having a sort out, I came across some old paintings I did in an evening class a few years ago. Here's one: a still life of a tea cup. Painted on an old tea towel, I kid you not. This is from my Typhoo period. Sugar, anyone?

Cartoon for Doctor Who website

I had some fun doing this cartoon, which can be seen on the Doctor Who fansite Adventures with the Wife in Space. The site is run by Neil Perryman, an old friend from my university days, who commissioned me via Facebook, having seen me banging on (and on) about my cartoons there.

The idea behind the site is that every day he watches an episode of Doctor Who with his non-fan wife Sue, in order from the very beginning, and records her reactions, which are mostly sarcastic and very funny. They're on to Jon Pertwee now: check it out.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I'm not averse to drawing the odd Doctor Who-based cartoon.

Looks like I've got some competition ...

There was much excitement in our house when my son Fergus, 9, got a cartoon in The Dandy. It was in last week's issue. He came third, out of five, in a competition to design a character for the comic strip The Bogies.

His creation is Lord Booger (based on Lord Sugar -- geddit?) and a strip based on the character will appear in next week's issue. The family business beckons ...

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Cowboy cartoon: Talkin' long captions

Here's a cartoon that comprehensively breaks the unwritten rule that captions should be snappy and to the point.

"This town ain't big enough for the two of us, so I'm proposing 1,000 new homes with a commitment to affordable housing plus adjacent retail park and leisure destination."

I spent quite a bit of time trawling local council websites to get the deathlessly dull phrases that they use right. "Leisure destination" is a particularly annoying one. This can be seen in the November issue of Reader's Digest.

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Running cartoon: From Private Eye annual

"What are we running for? For me, it's Cancer Research this year."

The Private Eye Annual 2011 is in the shops, and I've got a couple of cartoons in it, including the one above.

This cartoon illustrates that submitting cartoons is often about timing. I drew it about a year ago but it seemed like the wrong time to be sending it out, as we headed into winter, and no-one would be thinking about "fun runs" any time soon. So I sent it in early 2011 and Private Eye took it, then used it in the week of the London Marathon in April.

Library picture

I was more than a little chuffed, when browsing in my local library here in Broadstairs, to come across a copy of my cartoon book. There it is, above, punching above its weight amid heftier tomes. I had heard that it was in there, I suppose it is a "supporting local artists" thing.

Initially I thought no-one had taken it out, but then I remembered that there's no way of knowing. The borrowing process is automated now, and you get a receipt with the return date from a machine, rather than a stamp in your book from a human being. I can't say I'm happy about that, it seems a bit impersonal, but it's better than libraries closing, which is happening all over the country. So, support your local library! (And borrow my book!)

Or, you could buy a copy. (Ideal Christmas present etc.) You can get it from Amazon and Lulu.com, but in the spirit of small enterprise I'd prefer it if you bought it directly from me, as I see more of the money that way: Visit my shop.

Religion cartoon: Keeping it in the family

"He only got this job because of who his dad is."

After two posts about my social life (it's so rare that I have one!) it's time I posted a cartoon on this cartoon blog, so here's one from the November edition of Prospect.

Watching BBC Four's Holy Flying Circus the other day reminded me how much Monty Python's Life of Brian opened the door to allow us all to be a bit non-reverential about religion. A cartoon like this may have ruffled a few feathers once, but it's hard to imagine anyone getting too worked up about it now. Actually, as a former Catholic (and altar boy!) I should probably think that's a bit of a shame.

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Partying with 'smartoonists' at the Guildhall

Cartoonists were outside their usual comfort zone at the Private Eye Golden Jubilee party on Wednesday -- the culmination of the magazine's 50th celebrations -- not because of the splendour of the venue, but rather the "smart dress" instruction on the invite.

The grandeur of the Guildhall, in the City of London, was punctured by the placing of cutouts of famous Private Eye "victims" (Robert Maxwell, Andrew Neil etc) on the balconies, giant Private Eye crusader logos flanking the stage, and a few well-chosen speech bubbles, right.

There was champagne, canapes, speeches from all three Eye editors, some minor-celeb spotting -- mostly of the "meeja" variety ("Look, it's Mark Lawson off of that Late Review!") -- and a little dancing. The evening is well summed up by a great reportage cartoon by longtime Eye cartoonist Martin Honeysett, along with a short article, over at the Bloghorn

Out and about with the Cartoonists' Club

Last weekend I went on a trip to Somerset with the Cartoonists' Club of Great Britain, for the 2011 AGM/jolly. This, I should point out, was immediately prior to the Private Eye opening, so I had an heroic four days in a row of drinking and socialising. First time I've done that since I was a student, I think.

There were 20-odd of us on the trip, a few of whom are pictured above, at Cheddar Gorge. Left to right: Nikki and Tim Harries, Simon Chadwick, me, Rich Skipworth, and Hugh "Shug" Raine. The photo is by Ger Whyman.

The weekend is best summed-up in a letter I sent to The Jester, the club newsletter:

I just wanted to send my thanks to the committee for organising such a brilliant weekend in Clevedon. I've been on a few of these trips now (Masham, Witney, Skegness etc) but I think this may have been the most fun yet.

The weekend was filled with big laughs, good food and possibly a little too much drinking. And the vintage bus trip, to Clevedon Pier, Thatchers for the cider tasting, and on to Cheddar Gorge, was just a perfect day.

A team of us winning at the pub quiz on the Sunday night (commiserations to the other cartoonists' team!) was just the icing on the cake. We didn't even know there was a quiz on, but as Tim Harries had been posing quiz questions from his iPad all weekend, at every available opportunity, it was as if we'd been warming up!

So thanks again to the committee and to everyone who turned up and helped make it a great weekend.

Art cartoon: Sorry, Vincent

Regular readers will know I like to do art-based cartoons, so here's my take on a famous Van Gogh. Click the image to enlarge.

This one is in, er, slightly poor taste, so lots of mags passed on it. But it has found its natural home in the November issue of the adult comic Poot, which is not averse to a bit of gross-out humour. They have a softer side though, and it was Poot that added this rather fetching frame.

Apologies, as ever, to the artist ... and indeed to art lovers everywhere! Pedants note: Yes, I know he didn't cut off his ear in this room. It's just a joke.

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Exhibition cartoon: Private Eye at the V&A

"Must dash ... I want to spend some time on my social-networking websites."

I went along to the opening of Private Eye: The First 50 Years at the V&A on Monday. As is often the case with these things, I spent so much time chatting to people (there were more cartoonists there than I've ever seen in one place before) that I didn't get to see much of the show. I'll have a proper look next time I'm in London.

I did spot the above cartoon though. It's from 2007, before Twitter even took off. The guy here is probably still using MySpace. It can be seen in a glass case, rather than on the wall! That's because it's part of a mock-up of a messy Private Eye production table, which features cartoons, pages, cuttings and associated paraphernalia.

For more on the exhibition generally, head over to the PCO's Bloghorn, where I've put together a longer piece about the opening.

"I don't believe it, man -- my mum has taped EastEnders over my martyrdom video."

Meanwhile, the Chris Beetles Gallery in St James's, London, has an online selling exhibition of Private Eye artwork to coincide with the V&A event. I've got three for sale, including the above.

Royston's portfolio website

Restaurant cartoon: Crowdsourcing ideas

"Don't fill up with bread."

I'm always reluctant to use hip, techie words -- largely because you never know if they're still going to be around next week -- but this cartoon, which is in the current Private Eye, was the result of an experiment in "crowdsourcing".

OK, crowd is probably putting it a bit strongly, but a handful of people responded when I put the following message on Twitter a couple of weeks ago.

"Gag cartoon writing session: throw some random themes/ideas at me!"

I've done this before, and sometimes people don't quite get it, and give me over-specific scenarios (with hindsight, I should have stuck with just themes, not ideas) and sometimes they do. The US cartoonist Mark Anderson did and simply said "French bread", so off I went to brainstorm on that. I came up with this fairly quickly. And it sold to the first mag. So thanks, Twitter, and thanks, Mark!

Thinking up themes for cartoons can be difficult. I've tried picking out words in dictionaries, using online "random idea generators" etc, but there's no substitute for getting topics from other people because then you have someone to show the result. I often ask those around me, mostly my long-suffering wife.

But after this success, you can expect to hear from me again, Tweeps. Damn, there's one of those words again ...

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Weather cartoon: Forever autumn

Here's a cartoon I drew for a newspaper article about the unseasonably hot autumn weather we had recently. Normally these cartoons are black and white but sometimes it's nice to add  some colour, and those autumnal shades are rather nice, I think.

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TV cartoon: Careful what you wish for

Fans of Doctor Who will know that the current series has been leading up to death of the Doctor tonight. Sounds unlikely that they would kill off a much-loved franchise, er, character, but unlikely things do happen: it's October 1 and it's hot and sunny.

Click play


For some though, you should be careful what you wish for ...

"Do you ever get a hollow feeling when you've looked forward to something for ages and then it finally happens?"

You know you want to see more Doctor Who/Dalek cartoons ...

A real-life cartoon and a sound thrashing

It's a sunny Sunday. Ideal car-washing weather. Can't be bothered though, so here's a cartoon about car washing instead.

Occasionally a cartoon idea comes along that doesn't take much writing because it is plucked from real-life experience. This one came while washing our car outside the house one day in the summer.

Within about five minutes I had heard the first comment and the second one followed shortly afterwards, from two different people. I added the third one as these kind of jokes work best in threes -- and because I was surprised I didn't hear that one too.

The cartoon can be seen in the October issue of Reader's Digest, as can the outcome of the most recent Beat the Cartoonist caption contest in which I took part ...

"Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?"

Well, it had to happen, after crowing about scoring a hat-trick in the contest I was well and truly beaten. Soundly thrashed, in fact, as my original caption, above, came fourth!

The winner was by one S.N. Browry: "He agreed we should provide accommodation for my mother." And I have to admit that that's pretty good. I still prefer my original, of course, the new one doesn't really explain the loved-up look on the guy's face, but I can see that it seems like a bit of an anti-climax as a reveal.

Ah well, it's still 3-1 to me. I would insert some kind of footballing metaphor here, but I don't really know anything about football.

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Not Yet Sold: Cats cartoon

"You really must have nine lives."

I'm not sure if this one works, or if it is that original, but I was really pleased with my design for the "crash test cat dummy"! All comments welcome below, as usual.

More in this series of rejected cartoons: Not Yet Sold.

News cartoon: Ten years on

"It's 9/11, 24/7"
Some might accuse me of being disrespectful with this cartoon, which is in this week's Private Eye, but it is about excessive media coverage rather than 9/11 itself.

Of course the recent 10th anniversary should have been marked to a significant degree, but I always get an uneasy feeling at the way those images of death and destruction are played and replayed like an action film. This cartoon maybe puts the point more elegantly: Doonesbury.

Talking of Private Eye, you may have heard that it's about to turn 50. Here's a piece I put together for The Bloghorn, online diary of the Professional Cartoonists' Organisation.