Dodgy puns: iCan so iDo

A few cartoonists, myself included, seem to have managed to get iPod-based gags in Private Eye. It’s funny how these themes get picked up and flogged to death. Other examples of recent years
include “I’m on the train”, “men behaving badly” and, of course, “does my bum look big in this”, all of which seemed to run and run. I suppose the appeal is that they usually just require a dodgy pun. Anyway, they also have a limited lifespan and I feel the bubble must surely be about to burst on the iPod joke.


Hey look! Here's a picture of Rupert the Bear ...

No, really. He’s looking pretty sprightly for 85 don’t you think? You may have seen this picture already in your daily paper. Traditionalists are, as they say, up in arms. Of course, traditionalists are always up in arms, but this time they certainly have a point.

This is how Rupert will appear on our TV screens next year, as remade by Entertainment Rights, who have bought the rights from Express Newspapers. He has had two fingers removed from his hands and all character liposuctioned from his face. Nice trainers though.

Apparently, favourite Rupert characters including Bill Badger will be kept, but – and this is the scary bit – some new characters will arrive in Nutwood. Be afraid, particularly if you remember when they brought back the Wombles with a few new “streetwise” characters or if, like me, you have young children and will probably be forced to watch it.

There's no escape

Top Dr Who cartoon is from Private Eye, the other unpublished.

A splash of colour

Painter Classic and a Wacom pad have certainly transformed the art of idle doodling for me.

Pretty fly

This cartoon is not by me. It is by B.Kliban and is one of my favourite cartoons ever ever type thing.

All change

This weblog has been neglected for some time, but I've got a major life event as an excuse: I've given up the day job. I took voluntary redundancy and am now having a crack at being a full-time cartoonist. Eeek.

It does mean that non-paying nonsense such as this blog are no longer a priority. I will add to it ocassionally though. Here's some cute animals and stuff, drawn in a bid to get a children's book illustration job.

Are these the most incomprehensible song lyrics ever?

While listening to the song Outdoor Miner by Wire, I found myself thinking, "What in the name of heck is he talking about?". I was moved to look up the words on the net and I present them for you here in all their bizarre glory. They're surely nonsense but are strangely fascinating:


No blind spots in the leopard's eyes
Can only help to jeopardize
The lives of lambs, the shepherd cries
An afterlife for a silverfish
Eternal dust less ticklish
Than the clean room, a houseguest's wish
He lies on his side, is he trying to hide?
In fact it's the earth, which he's known since birth
Face worker, a serpentine miner
A roof falls, an underliner
Of leaf structure, the egg timer

Feeling listless

In an age when we are bombarded by pointless lists at every turn, compiling a list of the first ten songs that come up using an iPod's random play function is as valid as any. Here's mine, I didn't cheat:

1. Dont Cry No Tears - Teenage Fanclub
2. I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself - Dusty Springfield
3. 86 TVs - I Am Kloot
4. Main Offender - The Hives
5. Til the End of the Day - The Kinks
6. Straight Face Down - Smudge
7. Common People (Live at Glastonbury) - Pulp
8. It's Not the End of the World - Super Furry Animals
9. Sister, Do You Know My name? - The White Stripes
10. No Fun/Push It - The Stooges/Salt 'n' Pepa (Soulwax mix)

It's a list that I like and, best of all, it's meaningless.

But is it art?

Shameless plug time: I'm currently doing a series of cartoons for the Artyfacts section of the Children's BBC website. They are used to illustrate the lives of artists. So far I've done the Spanish painter Joan Miro and Martin Creed, who got the media in a froth when he won the Turner Prize by turning the lights on and off a lot.

Me so lazy

Feel like I've been a bit neglectful of this blog, particularly after reading the article about blogging in the Observer this week. (Have you noticed that all bloggers seem to link to the Guardian, Observer or Independent? Nobody ever says "Fascinating piece in the Daily Mail today ..." Interesting that.) Anyway, I am in the process of moving house so it probably won't get much better for a while.

Going begging

Interesting to read in The Guardian that John Updike used to badger cartoonists for free artwork as a kid. All cartoonists get begging letters. But I don't think any of those that have written to me will go on to be acclaimed writers, because they usually say things like "i think you're stuffs cool. LOL. can u do me a cartoon i cant pay". The best part is always "it'll be good exposure".

Here's an idea

There's a live-action film of Thunderbirds coming out soon. Wouldn't it be great if in any close-ups of hands they used wooden puppet hands? It won't happen though, there's a limit to how many in-jokes they can put into these nostalgic remakes of old TV programmes because, as Peter Bradshaw points out in his Guardian review of Starsky and Hutch, all Hollywood films these days are aimed at children.

One for trivia fans

I just found out yesterday that the phrase "back to the drawing board" originally came from a cartoon. It was drawn by Peter Arno of The New Yorker in March 1941 and featured a military aircraft crashing into the ground. As the generals and medics rush to the scene, the engineer is heading the other way, cheerfully saying: "Well, back to the old drawing board". You can see it here. The only other example of a cartoon phrase entering the vocabulary, that I can think of off the top of my head, is "security blanket", from Charles Schulz's Peanuts cartoons, but I'm sure there must be many others.

It's all been done

While trying to think up ideas for cartoons, and messing about with words in my head, I came up with the phrase "ebola tombola". I was quite amused by this and thought it would probably be a good name for a spoof rock band. On a whim, I did a search for "ebola tombola" at Google and found that it is the name of a b-side by dance act I've never heard of called Blue Light Fever. So what have we learned? Simply this: THERE ARE NO NEW IDEAS. And the internet reminds us of this constantly. Harumph.

Cartoon Cliches

Radio 4 is repeating Cartoon Cliches this week at 3.45pm every day. It's an enjoyable series of 15-minute programmes on those over-familiar scenarios we see in spot cartoons, such a desert islands, firing squads etc. You can also hear it online at the station's Listen Again page.

More fun with clip art

Fun with clip art

OK, it's a bit like Get your War On, but with less swearing.

"Day job officially becomes job"

Chuckle along as an aspiring cartoonist's lifelong dreams are trampled on at: The Onion. Like a lot of the stuff on that site, it's all too plausible.

Like father like daughter

Interesting article about Sophie Crumb, daughter of the legendary underground cartoonist Robert. She's now 22, which will make anyone who remembers her from Terry Zwigoff's excellent documentary Crumb feel old. Thanks to Linkmachinego.

"I'm Bill Hicks and I'm dead now ..."

The Guardian has an article about the comedy genius Bill Hicks, who died ten years ago this month: Last laugh
If want to know more about him go to: billhicks.com

A class act

The Bash Street Kids are 50 years old and they still haven't left school: 10 facts