Music business cartoon: It's that dog again

This cartoon is in the March issue of Prospect. It was inspired by a story in the news a while back about the new EMI boss insisting that his acts work harder. But the cartoon was non-specific enough so that it has "legs", unlike some topical gags.

Bizarrely, this is the third "HMV dog" cartoon that I've had published in the last six months or so! Click on "HMV" under Labels below to see the others.

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Cartoon TV show: Modern Toss

I was asked by the Editor of The Jester (the Cartoonists’ Club newsletter, which I edited until the end of last year) to write a review of the TV series Modern Toss. So I did.



Review: Modern Toss, Channel 4

Private Eye readers may remember when, a few years ago, cartoons started appearing in the magazine by someone called “Link”. These caused some grumbling in the cartooning community because they were, frankly, baffling.

It wasn’t just the fact they were drawn in a naïve, scrawly style, that got people’s backs up, but the fact that no one could see what the joke was. I recall one featured someone with a profusion of nose hair saying, “I’m having a bad nose hair day” … nope, still doesn’t do it for me.

Shortly afterwards, a magazine called Modern Toss appeared, filled with cartoons by Link, who we now knew to be Jon Link, and his cohort Mick Bunnage. Here the odball ideas were fleshed out to strips as well as spot cartoons. These were pretty juvenile and largely based on elaborate swearing (especially “Mr Tourette – Master Signwriter”) but they were more successful than the spot gags. Although there was still an “Emperor’s new clothes” feel, there were chuckles to be had.

Now you can experience Modern Toss on the telly, its second series appearing in the wee small hours of Thursday morning on – where else? – Channel 4.

It features animations, live-action sketches and a mix of the two. So you get real scenes populated by characters that look like doodles drawn while on the phone. The look of the magazine is reproduced faithfully and the end result is a TV series that’s hit and miss but pretty funny in places. And it’s certainly one of a kind!

A character called Drive-by Abuser made me laugh a lot. He’s a scribble who drives around on a moped hurling pointless abuse at things such as traffic lights, and a tree shedding its leaves – “You gonna clean up that mess? You want a f***ing dustpan and brush?” He has that cheery London demeanour which means that his foul-mouthed tirades are always followed by a friendly “See y’around, yeah?”

Most of the sketches put you in mind of the kind of daft things that people pass around by email. In fact, the internet is probably the natural home of this show. If you do a search for Modern Toss on You Tube you can see lots of the sketches there. Just make sure the f***ing nippers aren’t around, yeah?

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Theatre cartoon: A-level comes in handy

This cartoon, in the February issue of Reader's Digest, is one of those where the magazine wanted an edit. Originally I had another line at the end in the speech bubble: "I expect he'll be here soon." But I think they thought the point was already made. I think they were right.

I find that editors usually are right (probably because I used to be a newspaper sub-editor myself!) so I'm never very precious about making changes. I always think of that Gary Larson line: when his editor suggested the title "The Far Side", Larson was just so happy to be seeing his stuff in print that his comment later was, "They could have called it Revenge of the Zucchini People for all I cared".

This is not the first Waiting for Godot cartoon I've done. I'm not a huge Beckett fan or anything, but I studied it for A-level so it's etched on my brain - particularly the memory of a young, female teacher reading out the line "let's hang ourselves, it'd give us an erection". Never forgotten that for some reason ...

This is another cartoon submitted for the "But is it Art?" exhibition, part of the Shrewsbury International Cartoon Festival.

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Art cartoon for the Shrewsbury festival

Here is one of four cartoons I submitted for the "But is it Art?" exhibition which is part of the Shrewsbury International Cartoon Festival. The festival takes place on the weekend of April 18-20, though the "But is it Art?" show will run from March 30 until April 26.

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Valentine's Day cartoon

Here's a limited edition pink cartoon for all you lovers out there ...



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Private Eye cartoons: A hit and a miss

Here are two cartoons submitted to Private Eye – a hit and a miss. The top one is in this week’s issue. Expect to see the show they’re watching on Channel Five within three years. You read it here first.

The second gag I’m posting here because it’s one of those topical ones that you can’t send on to another mag because the story is finished. (Note for international readers: Jeremy Beadle was a TV practical joker who died last week). I was pleased with the cartoon as I thought the joke was simple and funny. I thought it was in with a chance as the Eye often goes for “gravestone” gags after the deaths of well known personalities. But what do I know? They passed on it.

I also considered just the gravestone with the words “Beadle’s Not About” (after his show “Beadle’s About”) but decided against it. The following day that was the headline on the front page of The Sun, proving that my skills as a newspaper sub-editor (I was one for eight years) are still intact!

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Caveman cartoon speak truth

The phrase "you're only as good as your last idea" certainly applies to cartooning! It's something I often think to myself, usually when facing a blank piece of paper and struggling to come up with fresh ideas for gags. In this case the phrase became a gag itself, one which can be seen on the letters page of February's Prospect magazine.

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Business cartoon: Economic woes

Here's a cartoon from the January edition of Reader's Digest. Cartoons are often based on current phrases and cliches that we hear a lot, usually in the media. This is one of those kind of gags. It's just a play on words really, but I think you can get away with jokes like that if it offers a good visual image. I had fun drawing this one, imagining what a black hole in an office would look like.

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Pen talk: Non-cartoonists look away now!

Here's a tip that I got from the US Wisenheimer cartoonists' forum that will be of interest to anyone who uses Faber-Castell PITT brush pens.

If you do use them you'll know that the nibs can go flat very quickly. But because they usually still have lots of ink in them, I tend to hang on to them, sometimes using them for filling in or for roughs.

But Canadian cartoonist Michael McDonnell came up with this tip: If you take a pair of tweezers you can remove the nib and turn it around giving you a brand new brush tip to work with.

I've tried it and it works a treat. And I've since found that I have about 40-odd blunt pens stashed in various drawers and jam jars around my office. They can all be used as new, which means I've saved myself about £75. Hurrah. Thanks again, Michael!

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Movie cartoon: One from the archives

Here's my very first Private Eye cartoon, which appeared ten years ago this week. I know that because I remember that it was the week of my 30th birthday, and I've just celebrated my 40th*

Normally I cringe at the artwork when I see my older cartoons, but I think this one stands up OK. Probably because I was aping the Disney style. The idea for the cartoon came from the fact that there had recently been a Disneyfied version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, though the character designs here were based on Hercules (our hero and his sidekick, voiced by Danny DeVito, of course) which was the big Disney film of 1997.

*Here's a cartoon I drew for a 40th birthday party invite last year.



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Health and fitness cartoon

This is a joke I've had rattling around for a while that finally found a home in a local paper cartoon this week. I like the idea that eventually every innocuous insult will be deemed "offensive" by someone!

This is for anyone who's failing to keep up with a New Year fitness regime. Keep at it, folks. Or, alternatively, help yourself to another slice of pizza. You can always start properly on Monday.

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Music cartoon: A surprise appearance

People often ask if I send a new batch of cartoons to several magazines at once. The answer is no, I send in rotation i.e. I send the gags to one magazine at a time, then any that don't sell I will send to the next magazine on my list. And so on. The main reason is that you'd look a bit silly if several magazines wanted the same cartoon. And the editors concerned wouldn't be too happy about it.

But there's another reason and it's this: sometimes they will print the cartoon before they've got around to telling you they're using it! Or there's some communication breakdown and you don't get the message. The above cartoon is a case in point. It is in this week's Spectator magazine, but I only found that out yesterday while browsing through the mag in in WHSmiths.

Regular readers will note that this is not the first time I've done an "HMV dog" cartoon. And it probably won't be the last.

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T-shirt cartoon: Polar opposites attract

My cartoons have appeared in many places throughout the world, but I must admit I never expected that they would ever be seen in the Antarctic.

The South African National Antarctic Expedition asked if they could use a cartoon of mine, which appeared in Reader’s Digest, on their team T-shirt for this year’s trip to Antarctica.

As a result, the shirt looks like this on the front ...



(Here’s a close-up of that badge)




... and this on the back!



Here’s a close-up of the cartoon:



The original wording was “Well, one of us is in the wrong cartoon.” That was fine for a magazine cartoon, as it was really a cartoon about cartoons, which often feature polar bears and penguins in the same place. But the SANAE wanted it changed simply to “place”, because they’re often asked by people if they will encounter polar bears during their expeditions.

That’s me modelling the shirt in the pics by the way. I’ve not worn a long-sleeved T-shirt (well you wouldn’t want a short-sleeved one at the Antarctic, would you ...) since the early 1990s. With the lettering down the sleeve I reckon I could pass for a member of EMF.

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Merry Christmas ...

... and a Happy New Year to you all.

The above cartoon is in the new issue of Prospect, in a prime spot on page three. Which is nice.

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Christmas cartoon: With apologies due

When an cartoonist copies the artwork of another artist, as part of the joke or to make a point, it's customary to provide a credit saying "After ..." or "With apologies to ...". When I sent this cartoon to a local paper here in Kent, where I have a regular slot, I forgot to put that on the cartoon.

So I've rectified that here and send double apologies to Mr Briggs! Hope he doesn't sue ... especially as we recently bought a DVD featuring both The Snowman and Father Christmas, and it's on heavy rotation in our house thanks to my kids.

I must admit though, every time I watch it and that live-action intro from David Bowie comes on, with the Thin White Duke wearing his best Christmas pullover, I do wonder WHAT were they thinking?

For any international readers who don't know what I'm talking about, The Snowman animated short is a Christmas TV institution here in the UK. You can find it on YouTube. There is a version with a more subtle opening, featuring Raymond Briggs himself I believe, but it's also worth checking out the Bowie one for a laugh.

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Cartoonists' party time

It's that time of year when even cartoonists emerge from their hovels to attend Christmas parties. And so it was that last week I went along to a party thrown by Reader's Digest (cartoon from the Christmas issue, above) at the restaurant at the top of the Harvey Nichols store in Knightsbridge, London.

Much champagne was quaffed and canapes nibbled, while chatting to other cartoonists, illustrators, writers and Digest staff. There was the usual complaining about the cartooning business, as is traditional, and marvelling at some of the bizarre canapes. One of them looked like tomato soup in a small, thin glass and turned out to be, er, tomato soup in a small, thin glass – a kind of Harvey Nichols version of Cup-a-Soup.



Here's me, on the right, with cartoonists Ger Whyman, aka "Ger", left, and Ian Baker, aka "Ian Baker". Ger's not really cross, I think he's pulling a comedy face. Thanks to Clive Goddard for the pic. Afterwards several of us retired to a charming, tiny pub nearby for a fine pint of ale. A good start to the festive season and particularly welcome as most of us have been drawing flippin' Christmas cartoons since August.

Cartoons by Royston

Private Eye cartoon: Facebook schmacebook

This cartoon is in the current Private Eye. Like many magazines they carry a lot of cartoons that are sceptical about new technology. But despite the view taken in this cartoon, I'm no luddite. I do have both a Facebook and MySpace profile ... it's just that often I'm not sure why. I signed up for Facebook because I was invited to, now I keep getting endless emails saying someone wants to discuss favourite movies with me, or has thrown a virtual custard pie at me. I ignore these to such an extent that someone sent me an email saying "You have been invited to join The Group For People Who Join Facebook Then Don't Do Anything". Naturally, I did nothing.

Bonfire Night cartoon

From one of the local papers here in Kent. Hope you had a good one last night, if you took part. For any international readers who don't know what this is all about, it's a traditional thing ... families together, a bite to eat, a few fireworks, burning the effigy of a Catholic conspirator, that kind of thing ...

Reader's Digest cartoon: Funny bunnies

Here's a gag from the October Reader's Digest. I don't do that many cute animal cartoons, but they're usually popular so I suppose I should. Captionless gags are often popular too, I think because the reader sometimes has to work a bit harder to get the joke, so when they do it's rewarding. I personally find them more difficult to come up with though.

A cartoon batch one year on ...

While having a clearout of files on my computer, I found this collage from a year ago this week. The Wisenheimer, an American cartoonists' internet forum that I take part in has an occasional thread called "What's on your drawing board?" where people show their latest work. I had just put together a batch of cartoons to be sent out on-spec to magazines. So, as I didn't want to reveal the actual jokes, I just used excerpts from each cartoon. Some people put up low-res unreadable scans.

The thing that's of interest one year one, which illustrates the insanity of the gag-cartoon market, is that only one of these has so far sold! (Left hand column, one down, it was in Prospect magazine.) This, I should point out, is perfectly normal for freelance gag cartoonists! If you sell upwards of two or three out of ten that's a great result.

But all hope is not lost for the others. Some will be looked at, rejigged or reworded and sent out again. Others will go into semi-retirement as stock cartoons. Many find a home this way, though usually in not such high-profile places. For example, a gag I did about utility companies providing multiple services (it's funnier than it sounds, honest) was rejected by all the mags but has sold several times to, er, utility companies. So we keep churning them out ...