Religion cartoon: I confess

Got one in the September issue of Prospect.

Rubbish cartoon

I draw a weekly cartoon to accompany a story in a local Kent newspaper. This week's was very much of the "you couldn't make it up" variety. Apparently the council are now so keen to enforce the use of wheely bins (wheely bins are always big news in local papers!) and to reduce the number of black rubbish sacks left out for collection, that they employ people to rifle though them in order to ascertain the identity of those who dump them – so they can be prosecuted! Nice job.

Such a story easily lends itself to a cartoon ...

Techno fear

There have been no posts for a little while as I've been doing a bit more raging against machines. I found myself unable to pick up my emails for a couple of days – the problem being a power “outage” at my internet service provider. When did the Great British Powercut become lumbered with the US term outage, by the way? It looks too much like outrage to me – though that would have been quite applicable in this case as I found myself banging my head on the wall in frustration as I realised just how much I now rely on this technology.

Out-of-the-blue emails can be a good source of commissions for me. Did I have any waiting for me that I didn’t know about, I wondered. Also, many of my regular clients communicate by email. Did they have any cartoon jobs for me? I could hardly phone all of them on the off-chance.

Things then went from bad to worse. I started having internet connection problems, so not only could I not get emails, I could not even connect to the web. At one point, even the telephone helpline was “temporarily out of order”. They were, of course, sorry for the inconvenience. That’s OK then. Back online now though and the few days of missing emails have been sent on. And although I should be thankful it happened at a quiet time of the year, there were a couple of jobs waiting to justify my frustration!

Smashing time

My computer printer finally went kaput after years of threatening to do so. I refused to mourn because its passing gave me the chance to carry out a long-cherished fantasy ...



I didn't quite go so far as to take a baseball bat to it (as in the film Office Space) but it was still very cathartic.

Insight into the strange world of cartooning ...

Rejection is such a part of the cartoonist's life that the other day I was actually pleased because I got the more encouraging rejection slip on the left, rather than the slightly abrupt one on the right. Sad but true, folks!

Office cartoon: Going large

This cartoon is in the August issue of Prospect. I was pleased to sell this gag as it's one that I came up with while I was at the Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival (see May 3 entry) and therefore not at my desk trying to earn money! The general theme of the festival was "Size".

Holy copyright violation!

I have some cartoons for sale on the Cartoonstock website. They recently removed a handful because of a new policy of not featuring trademarked characters from films etc. Now, it's not necessarily copyright violation to feature such characters in cartoons, but the problem Cartoonstock run into is that they sell their cartoons to be used on mugs, mousemats etc. So then you could be seen to be exploiting the character. I think, actually, it's more of a problem overseas than in the UK, but I suppose it's all part of being a global business. Anyway, to be honest I wasn't that bothered as it was just a few gags and most of them were from very early on in my cartooning career.

There is one I'm fond of though. It was one of the first gags I had published. It was in The Times's Saturday supplement Metro (now defunct) circa 1998. Of course I'd draw it completely differently now (hopefully a lot better!) but it's still an OK gag I think. Note to DC Comics: please don't sue. I'm not planning on putting it on a T-shirt.

Two links

This recently launched blog is definitely one to bookmark: A Gag a Day by my cartooning pal and fellow Cartoonists' Club member Tim Harries. It does exactly what it says on the tin, as they say. Or, indeed, as Tim says on the blog. "One gag published every day, unless I'm on my hols or get a bit bored," he adds.

And here's some practical cartoon advice from the Andertoons blog.

19-year-old rejection slip found!

While having a bit of a sort-out, I found a rejection slip from Oink comic from 1987 (it was kind of a Viz for kids).


It was probably the first rejection slip I ever got. I was 19 years old and, being a teenager, was depressed by it and never sent them anything else! But what's interesting to me now about it, after years of bog-standard "sorry, no thanks" rejection slips, is the fact that it's a proper letter and is incredibly positive. If I got a rejection letter like this now I think I'd be pretty happy about it!

Crazy name, crazy guy

Many thanks to cartoon blogger Clangnuts for linking to my blog with a rather nice review. Clangnuts says: "I've been a printer, postman, weekend hippy, driver and support worker, but underneath all of that I've always been a cartoonist." I know that feeling.

How to traumatise young children

Toy manufacturers, why not package Postman Pat in such a way that it looks like he's about to be dumped in the river by the Mob? My son was unperturbed, but you must admit it is a bit sinister.



There's real fear in those eyes.

Who you gonna call?

I recently set up a Myspace page, mainly to increase my web profile and provide a link to my main cartoon website. The "social networking" side of it is quite fun, up to a point (it's slighty bizarre when you get a link request from someone who seems to be online purely to show their bum to the world). I have discovered some good cartoonists that I wasn't aware of though, which is good.

Here's me at Myspace

Now, not being as great a reader of Terms & Conditions as I should be, I didn't know that putting your work up on Myspace effectively granted them a licence to exploit it, potentially for profit. But as soon as I became aware of this appalling situation I found out that it had been changed, and all rights now remain with the artist. So who managed to get Myspace to make this amazing U-turn? Who d'ya think?

Billy Bragg

Whatta guy.

Oldie cartoon: For art's sake

This one is in the July edition of The Oldie. I enjoyed doing the "Mock Tudor" paintings!

History cartoon: Law unto itself

This gag appears in the new edition of Reader's Digest in the UK. It was in one of my sketchbooks for a long time before I got around to drawing it up, possibly more than a year. I simply didn't think it was that strong an idea, but that may have been because it was just sketched vaguely, with the characters in indistinct "olde worlde" garb. It was only when I started to develop it visually, using pics of the Magna Carta signing as reference (thank you Google Image Search), that I could see it was beginning to work. It's always bizarre how cartoons come together. Sometimes the complete opposite happens, the cartoon forms visually in your head at the same time as the gag.

I only drew it up to make up the numbers in a batch of cartoons, but of course it was the only one that the Digest bought. This happens a lot, as any cartoonist will tell you.

Maritime mirth

From the July issue of Prospect.

A glimpse into the cartoonist's inbox

Cartoonists often get asked to do bizarre things for no money. Thanks to the marvel that is the internet, these requests now come thick and fast by email. Here's one I got the other day: "Hi there, any chance you could do me a picture of Plug from The Beano? Can't find one on the net ..." I politely replied that the sender had perhaps not looked hard enough. I found that a Google image search turns up several pics of Plug:

Another common type of email is the type that potentially offers work to the cartoonist while giving away as little information as possible about the potential project. These are genuine and unedited, only the names have been cut:

"am looking for a catoonist for my book. think we can find out if you fit? Regards …"

"Hello, Could you please contact me regarding our need for an illustration/cartoon characters. Thank you …"

"i found your name looking for an illustrator for a childrens book I have written can you tell me what sort of costings it would be for around 10 picturesor how you work out you costings. thanks looking forward to hearing from you"

I'll cover the people that demand all the secrets to becoming a top cartoonist (like I'd know!), usually in an email dashed off in 30 seconds, some other time ...

I am the Law (Society cartoonist)

I regularly draw humorous illustrations for the Law Society Gazette, to illustrate features. Often they're about legal matters that mean little to the man in the street. But this week's is quite topical ...

Blast from the past

While sorting through a box of old cassette tapes I came across the song Cheesecake Truck by the American band King Missile, which I've not heard for years. It's from the early 1990s and is a spoken-word track, over a quirky musical backing. And it occured to me: this is a comic strip on record! Maybe I'll draw it up some day. The song always appealed to me because, well, I love cheesecake. Here are the lyrics (which I've just cut and paste from another website, but they seem accurate!):

So then I got this idea about driving a cheesecake truck,
cuz I figured at the end of the day,
I could take some of the leftover cheesecakes home.
And I love cheesecake.

So I went to the cheesecake company
and they asked me if I could drive a truck and I said yes,
and they said 'You're hired!'

So the next day I got in the truck with all the cheesecakes
and I drove about a block and I just had to have a cheesecake
so I pulled over and opened the truck
and I got a cheesecake, and I also took one for later,
and I took one for my friend Farmboy,
and I took one to bring home,
and by that time I had eaten one of the cheesecakes
so I took another one.

Then I figured I might as well stop at my house
to drop off all the cheesecakes,
so I take five cakes to eat on the way,
and I drive another block and a half to my house.

Now it's lunch time so I eat ten cheesecakes,
and a cheesecake for dessert.
I should point out, by the way,
that all of these cheesecakes were very delicious.

Anyway, I decided that the only thing to do
would be to eat all the rest of the cheesecakes
and hide the truck somewhere
and leave town.

And I miss everybody a lot
but I'm not really sorry
because they were very delicious cheesecakes.

Ancient arguments settled

I thought I might try to settle some of those niggling, on-going arguments, so we call all move on. First up: which are best, cats or dogs? Answer: cats. This picture, which has gone all over the world in recent days, is the proof. That's a bear in the tree by the way. Next week: baths vs. showers. I thank you.

My official England World Cup Cartoon

I do a regular cartoon for a local paper here in Kent. Inevitably they wanted a football one this week ...

This is funny: Mark Anderson on Hollywood's version of the typical cartoonist's day.